#won't play it anymore today
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I'm updating 😩
#don't get me wrong - I'm curious about what changed and all#but i just haaaaaaaaaaaate updates in general#not just cyberpunk#I am simply no person that likes to update any device#my palystation 4 wants to update - NO#my huaweii is on such an old system from idk 2021? or early 2022? lol#anyways it takes a while now#won't play it anymore today#not sure if I should just test if before loading/installing PL or just don't give a fuck#EDIT; okay forget what I said - it installs both at the at the same time - wasn't even askes about it#thats steam yolo#all my mods are (savely) removed or deleted#I tried verifying files before the update but it was weird#and I won't place in mods until Adaptive Graphics Quality works#why does updating this game give me always no good feels in my gutssss
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honk
#idk if this fandom is alive anymore but here's burnt toast man#shall i tag this shit.......... sure lets tag this shit#payday 2#payday#hoxton#was thinkin about how therell be another one of these games and felt the sudden urge to draw the fave again#payday tumblr sure was fun to be part of back in the day#anyways i'm off to bed... been insanely tired today and hopefully i'll get to some of the art on my to do list#tomorrow i meant to say. hope to get to it tomorrow lol#i have some nice ones there. though. mostly ones i won't be able to post here lmfao#maybe throw in oc with pride flag thing on this list so i'll have sth posting worthy.#in a non related note at the end here i just finished playing tlou on the pc and it was so much fun... never did finish it on the console#just watched others play through it#i smell an AU but i'll keep that to myself because whomst cares#honk honk good night
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local dead tory lays awake at night not knowing how to process the terrifying feeling of having your heart held by someone you might lose one day
#aka followup to my post from earlier today#my art#bbc ghosts#chess husbands#yeah man idk im just having feelings today#imagine having lived your own life with everything handed to you and never once being afraid of losing something or someone and then boom#you die and start playing chess with a caveman and he ends up being a big part of your afterlife and you realize one day he might disappear#and you won't be able to play chess with him anymore#would fuck me up tbh
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(｡･ω･｡)ﾉ♡
#Alright I got tragically interrupted while watching it but I'm finally finished watching the episode!!#It's really really good both the animation and drawings are very detailed compared to the rest of the anime but...#The pace is so off :((( Like it's not the end of the world but ugh. It's unfortunate...#So many things just don't hit off as deeply because everything is moving so fast all the time and there's no time to process anything.#They won't allow you one second for the last line of a scene to sink in that the next scene's ost is already playing.#And like it's not even the worst crime an anime can commit I guess but still...#I wish they didn't. Like rather than make a 13 episodes season and squeeze the Sky Casino arc in merely two episodes it would have been–#a lot better to finish the season at the previous episode and make 12 episodes out of everything (so that everything could be better paced)#Like yeah maybe it's not the best season ending that there can be but... It's not terrible either‚ you have Atsushi saying the line–#“there's still hope” and the season ending there‚ that's pretty cool#I don't know why everyone feels like they have to rush all the time.#Guys do I have to be the one to remind you you make more money if more season come out.#Like how can the knowledge of Sigma being made by the book have any kind of impact when we've only known him for ten minutes.#Teruko's looking mad AND looking cutesy AND blowing up the landing zone didn't have the same comedic effect they did in the manga because..#It just happened all together! There's no time to process anything. Or maybe I'm just slow idk but I mean YOU GOTTA–#MAKE TIME FOR THE OPENING AND ENDING IN THE EPISODE c'mon man#Sorry I'm complaining it's actually good. I really really love Teruko & Tachihara. Jouno too!!!#I liked the Tahihara spotlight this episode... It's so cute to see what he's like when he's not acting– well‚ not completely I guess#Mmmmhhh.#Yesterday I read an interesting post on how a lot of early dc/mk wouldn't work today because the technology of the world has changed SO muc#I think a similar reflection can be made for the doa terrorist plot. Countries are pushing towards a complete digital money transition.#In 50 years or so coins may not be circulating anymore and today already the impact of this terrorist plot would be a lot smaller–#compared to when the chapters were coming out. I think#Well. Nice episode! Forward to next week! If tomorrow's manga chapter hasn't killed me before that#random rambles
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oh? are we getting confrontation so soon? makes sense though, there's only two more episodes
getting goosebumps fr /s
aaaand cut! I hope you enjoyed this week's journey, and see you next Sunday! jub jubs to all 🫶
#are you going having fun#im having so much fun lol#lets not analyze what that says about me#ANYWAY#im surprised I haven't hit daily picture limit yet#i'll probably hit it as soon as i start putting together the appreciation posts lol#i'll post them tomorrow just to play safe#i won't be flooding you with this show today anymore#the whisperer the series#twts lb#favorite scenes#episode 8#spoiler#spoilers#khun koon#taw tao#khuntaw#blmpff
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IN THE HEIGHTS countdown: 4 DAYS!
song for today:
it's hotter than the islands are today and mister softee's truck has broken down and here come all his customers my way i told you i run this town!
#song for today: piragua (reprise)#oh for the love of god i love piragua guy so much#and i know some of you are laughing rn (i am talking about you bel)#and what i absolutely love about the movie version is that lin is playing piragua guy and chris jackson is playing mr softee#how fucking iconic is that???#for those who don't know (everyone knows probably because i never shut up) lin and chris are my favourite duo ever#please just look at those two#usnavi and benny? iconic#hammy and washington? iconic#piragua guy and mr softee? iconic#LIN-MAN AND C-JACK??? fucking iconic bro#name more iconic duo I'LL WAIT#basically what i'm trying to say is that i am so excited i probably don't even make sense now so i'm very sorry#what even is this countdown i don't know anymore#it won't be long now*#Spotify
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I'm just so tired
#and. I only saw my partner for an hour today.#I get up late so that part isn't his fault... but he had *all day* on his own and still decided he wanted to go back to playing video games#after we watched one episode of leverage together#we bought a board game like... almost a month ago now. and every weekend I say hey it'd be nice if we maybe tried out that game (that he#said was interesting too!)#but nope it just doesn't happen. he sits at his computer all weekend and every weekday evening.#I'm just tired man. I'm so tired#I don't want to try anymore#it shouldn't feel this hard#personal#(haha straight people can't communicate with their partners wow straight women are so stupid blah blah blah. I'm gonna punch someone)#(not straight not a woman and fucking hell how is it the other partner's fault if one of them just won't fucking LISTEN. or TALK actually.#like fuck off with that shit man)
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the way one of the only remaining things in my grandparents’ flat is the calendar on the wall which is on may 16th is so telling. i am too stuck on that day still. i haven’t touched my thesis since then, i haven’t driven a car since then, haven’t done so many things since then. i can’t believe it’s gonna be another may soon, rly. 1st anniversary? and then what? another ones? i wish ppl understood i’m so stuck. it’s sooo unbelievably hard to go on. i’m so tired, i’ve changed so much. why can’t nobody see this omfg it’s like i’m screaming for attention here and yet even ppl who know me irl and read these posts or if i tell them face to face, they just don’t care??? i don’t expect much, i don’t expect anything rly? just like. a question once in a while. or idk...they should know
#it's like i'm getting to the point where U WAKE UP AND U DON'T FEEL LIKE PLAYING ANYMORE#to quote play it as it lays#and i DO HOPE i won't get there completely#i'm clowning my way thru everything#like i'm such a great actress#i pretend so much#i pretend all the time omg !!#being fake/pretending/two-faced is such an issue for me#i've got work to do today i'll be fine but. it's just v difficult#loved how at first like idk a day after people were like WE WILL HELP U WITH ANYTHING IF U NEED ANYTHING WE WILL BE THERE#biggest lie ever. people won't help#with anything. even with the tiniest shit. u have to beg on your knees and explain yourself#i've got so much bitterness in me bc i've been thru lots of abuse this year so before u accuse me of being selfish or something like that.#frankly think twice#bc what ppl know is like 15% of what happened. if even that
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just saw a ravens fan say we need to sign cam newton...
#let's be serious for one second here#in what way would 34 year old washed up cam newton help us. when was the last time that dude even played a game#i love cam he's the original babygirl qb but it's not 2015 anymore cmon now#let's leave things from the past...in the past#also it's just one more game with snoop clownery. and lawd knows when that game is even gonna be played#bc bills bengals still need to play and they're not gonna send a cincy team with two days rest against us#i pray that they won't have to play each other bc of what happened today but i know the clowns upstairs are gonna make them do it#so just. keep the takes to yourself#we don't need more dumbassery than we already have#nfl#baltimore ravens#cam newton#i love him he deserves the world#but lmao don't do this
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T O D A Y
#you were warned#(yes spoilers will be tagged. I won't be playing Immediately i have shit today. like an afult sadly.)#i probably won't post about it too much initially (and I don't actually follow that many DA blogs anymore..?)#anyways YOU WERE WARNED !!
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I feel like crying.
#dragon's stupid thoughts#today sucked#first that shit with the docs appointment - this happened already once before and I think it was the same receptionist and I think she#remembered last time too. fucking sucks TWICE AS MUCH#then my gold randomizer didn't want to work the way I wanted it to#the magmatoar in my fire type only brilliant diamond run disobeys me cuz it's traded#and the worst of all: my co intern at work#she makes me always feel so miserable#the way she's ''jokingly mocking'' me drives me crazy. and then she's always like ''omg. don't take everything so seriously 😒😒🙄🙄''#*while playing minecraft* she: 'oooh i see your house! your house that's made out of wood! and i coincidentally have a flint stone with me!#and when I told her to stay away she got offended and told me i can't take a joke#i think this was yesterday#today she was telling the teen i was playing with to punch me so i fall down#previously (some weeks ago. the first ones of the internship even?) she told like every teen that we were playing with to attack and kill m#I've already mentioned the uno one once but. where she sets up rules which obviously malefit me specifically#if you ask ''whos turn is it'' you have to draw a punishment card#this rule just makes me say nothing anymore. fuck you. i won't say a thing every again.#i feel like an idiot because of her#i already have a low self esteem / confidence and then denying that my beanie hat add coolness to me (for me) just makes me feel awful#makes me feel like a clown#i feel like trash thanks to her. hope you're happy and found some joy in making fun of me. in ridiculing me.#i fucking hated today but heeeyyyy at least i started the comic!! joy..#[ETA:#all of this made me wish once again that I have some SO waiting for me at home. that they are excited and happy to see me.#then we'll drink hot chocolate together. on a couch getting all cozy with fluffy blankets. cuddling and snuggling. while I tell them about#my day. then I'll watch them play something. maybe animal crossing. and I'll be slowly falling asleep on their shoulder. then they'll lift#me up and carry me to my bed and tug me in. and like just in general make me feel loved and valued#is this too much to ask for#]
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I know it's useless to get mad at the dog, she's just a hyperactive little thing who doesn't know how to behave yet. She's left home alone for at least 6 hours every day and she's bored, I can't blame her for tearing apart her training pads or shitting all over the place. Even if I did, she must have done it hours ago, dogs don't get that actions that happened so long ago have consequences and all me yelling at her will result in is her being scared of me. I know all that, I do
So WHY am I still so angry at her?? Why does it feel satisfying to lash out and see her scurry away??? She doesn't deserve to be treated like that, she doesn't know any better. And I don't know how to teach her to know better, I don't have the patience for it. She deserves better than me
#I just feel so.. impossibly helpless#here's this tiny creature that depends on me for eveything. that I asked for. that I wanted. and I can't even take care of her properly#I struggle cleaning up after myself. let alone a dog. and I really hate having to handle her shit#I know it's a matter of time. a matter of training#eventually I'll be able to take her on walks and all this won't be an issue anymore#but it is now and I cannot control how much it's pissing me off#if I wasn't alone it would be easier. but I am. so everything falls on me#I'm trying my best and it's just not enough#and my mom will be mad at me because I didn't walk her today even though I promised I would bc it's the last warm day we're supposed to have#but what am I supposed to do if she won't let me take her outside?? she's okay with her harness but the leash scares her#she just stands there hunched over and refuses to move. and cries#I can't force her. I don't want walks to be something she's scared of#but mom is annoyed that getting her used to being leashed takes so long. she insists that forcing her outside is the best course of action#and I can't even tell if she's right or not. I just want my honeybun to be happy and not scared#I feel like crying. I've been barely holding back for the last hour#it's just so so much#it'll pass and settle. I know it will. but I'm just exhausted#now I'll have to admit to everyone that I wasn't able to walk her again...#and that I don't know what to do with her#I don't regret asking for her. I really don't. I've wanted a dog for years#but maybe the timing of exam year + beginning of the colder months wasn't the greatest#and I started my period the day she arrived. so that.. just adds to the emotional instability#I'll get over it. I'll handle everything in time. I just.. wish I had someone to support me#or at least someone who wouldn't tell me 'well what did you expect? owning a dog is hard work. you can't just play all the time.#maybe you should have thought about that responsibility more' I KNOW. I HAVE. I JUST.. have my moments of frustration#that I wish I could express without everyone. including my own mind. telling me I'm a terrible pet owner#that's all#I adore my dog and I would never hurt her or subject her to any harm#but I'm also human and very mentally ill at that. I'm not perfect but I'm not bad. and she deserves better than that#but we're stuck with each other now. I could never give her up. I'm attached already. so... we'll make it work. one way or another. I swear
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how do you even begin to explain to someone that asking which tickets you need to buy & saying you're buying the tickets & saying don't buy the tickets cuz i'm doing that & then not buying the tickets & not even planning on going & only saying something 30 minutes before the movie starts isn't a communication error that is just lying in a "if I can't see it no one can" kind of way
#''just see the next viewing by yourself!'' okay i see how you can think that but actually it's a fucking FILM FESTIVAL I LITERALLY CAN'T#it's playing ONCE today#the actual movie comes out a few days from now but this is the PREMIER. the CREATORS are gonna be there#they're gonna do a ''making of'' talk on friday. i literally can't even go to that because i won't have seen the actual fucking MOVIE#like it's so stupid to be crying over something like this but what the actual fuck dude. this is why no one fucking likes you#go hang out with your racist transphobic vaccines-cause-autism piece of shit sister i don't even fucking care anymore#was actually starting to think maybe she's trying but nope! that is literally never the case & i am stupid for believing that#''so obviously there was a communication error'' yeah between the only two brain cells left in your head. fucking hell#''why don't you just see whatever's showing after that one'' she says AS I'M HOLDING THE BOOK FOR THE ONE I WANTED TO SEE IN MY HANDS!!!!!!#HOW ARE YOU THIS FUCKING STUPID!! WHY DIDN'T YOU JUST LET ME BUY THE FUCKING TICKET & GO ALONE THEN!!!!!#oh also another answer to the ''just go alone'' suggestion: MY DRIVER'S LICENSE NEVER FUCKING ARRIVED!!! I HAVE NO DRIVER'S LICENSE!!!
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I spent nearly the whole day trying to breed straight A+ grade 3 horse and when I gave up was with one having 1 × A+ and the rest normal A and the other horse has 2 × A+ 2 × A and 1 × B.
It's been definitely over 200 breedings and I'm really disappointed.
#rival stars horse racing#rival stars horse racing desktop#rshr#rshr desktop#on mobile it takes nearly two months to go from Cs and Ds to straight A+#but on the desktop I went over so many breedings during the day and got very close but not there yet#I probably won't play today anymore. maybe I'll go take screenshots of the horses#or probably not I still have to take care of howrse and sso#is there like statistics I could see about the game? I would love to see how many breedings I have now#as I reached achievement for 50 shortly after starting breeding#and 100 little bit later. like hour or so
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Today is the third day of my play in a row and my back hurts like hell-
#Today is the last day#It's sad because we won't be presenting this play anymore#But the whole process was a lot of fun (and tiring)#theatre
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i got back into r6
#i wad like#“wow. i'm not that into fps anymore 🙂”#Pants. On. Fire.#ok it's mainly because my girlfriend started playing again and i missed playing with her#that mere thought of the game has been dormant in my mind for like. 3 years then BOOM#dude every chance i get i hop on a qm#it's monday now so I won't get to play today til after 12 am but it's STILL ib my mind#ok i might as well ramble now#my og favorites from 2019-2020 were doc iq ela#it's still doc & iq now#ela not that much anymore.. idk i just got kind of bored of her esp after they retconned her lore w zofia#recently I've picked up brava (i love her)#ram (i love her)#fenrir (i love him)#mav (i suck as him)#wamai (i love him) (i'm pretty decent with him! his loadout is awesome)#oh lion is also one of my og favorites i cant believe i forgot to mention him lol#random but whenever i see vigil i just think of sam#to the point where when i play with my gf that's the callout i use#“SAMMY ABOVE SAMMY ABOVE”#“they have a sammy”#“the samlette killed me he's rotating”#i have so many assignments to complete i'm itching to play so bad#we had some chemistry in phys science and fenrir kept popping up in my mind 😭#n e ways... ahhhm#idk who to get next#i'm thinking iana or melusi ??#but i already have a decent amount of intel & gadget ops i frequent in atk and def respectively#maybe ace... & lesion. we'll see#a.talks
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